Ich bin eine (gulp) Ami - (I am an (gulp) American)

I was not quite prepared, I think, for last night's party - although, don't get me wrong - it was lots of fun. :-)

It wasn't really until this morning that things hit me that the conversation around me (at least partially) has changed in the two years I've been gone. I guess last night was actually the first time since we've been back that I was at a party with a larger group of my peers. Until now it's been family and individual friends and occasionally a small group of people from the building we live in (older crowd).

What am I talking about?

Here's the thing. When I left two years ago and in the year or two before that, when I'd talk to people on a personal level, the topic of "being an American in Germany" would often come up. And we'd chat about my political bent and my views on the war in Iraq and more generally "how it is to be an American living in Germany." Then of course there's the standard curiosity about what's the same and what's different, etc, and that will always be there.

But last night was a whole new ballgame. The standard question that most curious people used to begin a conversation with an American with: "What do you think about Bush?" has changed. It's reached a meta level now. People are no longer curious about what I think about Bush (thankfully mostly done with that embarrassing and painful conversation). They want to know "How it is to be an American living in Germany having to face the conversation/criticism about my country, people, and president?" They're fascinated to hear about the nail-biting, cringe-inducing stories about having to somehow defend my country in public. (Because, yes, I have tried on some level to explain that not everyone in the US supports the Iraq war and really not everyone voted for Bush.) They already KNOW without having to ask that I face this all the time. And they want to know how I respond to it. Something that I find absolutely fascinating, although I don't know if it's true, is that one of the guys I spoke to last night told me that in Munich there is now a course being offered to Americans to help them RESPOND to Bush criticism in public! OMG!

Another woman I spoke to had a different, but somehow related set of questions. She was curious about my media consumption habits. More specifically, she wanted to know where I read/consumed the news. Her questions revolved around the concern that I might have a hard time finding out the "truth" if I read American newspapers *or* German newspapers. I.e. American newspapers were obviously bent so far right that I couldn't possibly read truth from them and German media was obviously bent so far left, that here too, I might not figure it out...pretty interesting.

For both conversations I was really unprepared. What to say? I think I need to take that course - or the follow up meta-level course.

In all conversations I am of course immediately and verbally excused as "an exception" (an exceptional?) American. I bothered to learn the language, I am not "typically arrogant," and "self-centered." (Wow - how to respond to that?)

And they were more than willing/wanting to follow up the initial conversation with a trade-off "love-hate" fest. Which is: "what do you love/hate about the Germans/Americans?" and then each party makes lists. They want to know why they have a reputation abroad (U.S., Singapore) for being stiff, formal and humorless. :-)

I sort of stuttered my way through the evening, albeit with lots of laughing, but whew! Need to think about that one a little more.